Les Misérables left me cold
Nothing shown and everything told
All that hollering and shrieking
Leaves my head aching
Every line must rhyme
Across its excessive running time
No subtlety of emotion
The screen filled with commotion
Eddie Redmayne sings a song atop a pile of doors
My god what a bore
Hugh Jackman sheathes his claws
To grimace and overemote without pause
Russell Crowe huffs and puffs
Cashing his check to afford more foodstuffs
It’s Anne Hathaway’s big Oscar chance
Which she almost ruined by forgetting her underpants
Every theater nerd knows all the words
Everyone else calls it a turd