{"id":104,"date":"2005-12-18T14:24:30","date_gmt":"2005-12-18T21:24:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/?p=104"},"modified":"2022-10-26T18:49:22","modified_gmt":"2022-10-26T22:49:22","slug":"spam-poem-no-3-general-flood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/spam-poem-no-3-general-flood\/","title":{"rendered":"Spam Poem No. 3: “General Flood”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Please enjoy “General Flood”, the third in our ongoing series of flarf (spam poetry)<\/a>, assembled from the nonsense I find in my spam folder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

General Flood<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

thank god I’m back now
Important question
did you hear about this
general flood<\/p>\n\n\n\n

you won’t believe this
bereavement
entering the line of
populations if left<\/p>\n\n\n\n

after flooding is
it, Will it work out?
conditions will be
hard as nails<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A spell by ballistics
shrewd may aim some
hey girl gunfight uproarious
Ten Minutes to Your Life<\/p>\n\n\n\n

if we’d had the time
Save your house
Get what you need
plays on the small<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Please enjoy “General Flood”, the third in our ongoing series of flarf (spam poetry), assembled from the nonsense I find in my spam folder. General Flood thank god I’m back nowImportant questiondid you hear about thisgeneral flood you won’t believe thisbereavemententering the line ofpopulations if left after flooding isit, Will it work out?conditions will behard […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3292,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[1406,1167,1168,1404,1405,1407],"class_list":["post-104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spam-poetry","tag-flarf","tag-poem","tag-poetry","tag-spam","tag-spoem","tag-spoetry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/04\/spoetry.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa9lhB-1G","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":205,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/flarf-gesundheit-more-spam-poetry-prior-art\/","url_meta":{"origin":104,"position":0},"title":"Flarf! Gesundheit. More Spam Poetry prior art","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"April 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Forget \"spoetry\"; according to Boing Boing, experiments in the field stretch back a few years, and were known as \"flarf\". The Flarf Festival is a series of live events in New York City between April 20-22. For archival purposes, here are my own three attempts: General Flood250 Ways to Thank\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spam Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Spam Poetry","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/spam-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/04\/spoetry.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":43,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/spam-poem-no-2-250-ways-to-thank-you\/","url_meta":{"origin":104,"position":1},"title":"Spam Poem No. 2: “250 Ways to Thank You”","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"September 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"The second in a series of found poetry taken from spam subjects. I'm taking a different tack this time, avoiding the more absurdist lines that appear in No. 1 \"Here we come!\" (there's plenty more of that waiting for No. 3) and aiming instead for a coherent narrative flow. 250\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spam Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Spam Poetry","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/spam-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/04\/spoetry.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/spam-poem-no-1-here-we-come\/","url_meta":{"origin":104,"position":2},"title":"Spam Poem No. 1: “Here we come!”","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"August 11, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"In recent months I've noticed my spam becoming increasingly bizarre. Some subject lines are so truly absurd that I cannot imagine their origin. Are they simply really bad translations of, say, Russian or Portuguese? Are they random machine generations meant to foil spam filters? It's a mystery. It has, however,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spam Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Spam Poetry","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/spam-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/04\/spoetry.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2635,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/visualizing-the-invisible-bright-star\/","url_meta":{"origin":104,"position":3},"title":"Jane Campion Visualizes the Invisible, in Bright Star","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"December 4, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"As an English Major in another life, I'm not uninterested in poetry, or Keats in particular. But movies about poetry are another matter. It's difficult to imagine a less natural source material for the eminently visual medium of cinema than poetry. You can mute the sound, drain the color, or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "3 Stars"","block_context":{"text":"3 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/3-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Bright Star","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/bright-star.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/bright-star.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/bright-star.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/bright-star.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/bright-star.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":446,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-october-1-2006-special-adobe-bashing-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":104,"position":4},"title":"In which I complain at length about Adobe Illustrator & Updater","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"October 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"IconFactory vents their Top 5 Adobe Illustrator pet peeves. A flood of \"I know, right?\"s from fellow travelers quickly followed, but on the plus side, so did a hopefully productive dialog with Adobe. I couldn't agree more with the selection weirdness. Frustrated by Illustrator, I frequently find myself using Macromedia\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Tech"","block_context":{"text":"Tech","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/main-menu\/tech\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Adobe Updater","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/10\/adobe-updater.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/10\/adobe-updater.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/10\/adobe-updater.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/10\/adobe-updater.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/10\/adobe-updater.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":457,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-science-of-sleep\/","url_meta":{"origin":104,"position":5},"title":"Too Much Reality: Michel Gondry’s The Science of Sleep","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"October 13, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Michel Gondry is a treasure; endlessly inventive and thankfully prolific. His music videos (especially Bj\u00f6rk's \"Bachelorette\" and The White Stripes' \"Fell in Love With a Girl\") and films (Human Nature and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) are all personal favorites, with \"Bachelorette\" and Eternal Sunshine especially moving me deeply.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "4 Stars"","block_context":{"text":"4 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/4-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Science of Sleep","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/10\/science-of-sleep-poster.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/10\/science-of-sleep-poster.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/10\/science-of-sleep-poster.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/10\/science-of-sleep-poster.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/10\/science-of-sleep-poster.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=104"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7809,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104\/revisions\/7809"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3292"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}