{"id":154,"date":"2006-03-02T09:32:25","date_gmt":"2006-03-02T16:32:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/?p=154"},"modified":"2023-04-07T15:25:56","modified_gmt":"2023-04-07T19:25:56","slug":"daily-dork-report-for-march-2-2006","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/daily-dork-report-for-march-2-2006\/","title":{"rendered":"Daily Dork Report for March 2, 2006"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Wow, dude from Dominos is <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">straight-up hard-core Catholic<\/span> (no longer online: news.scotsman.com\/international.cfm?id=315402006), baby. Watch your tail, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.all-creatures.org\/hr\/hrachickfila.htm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Chick-fil-a<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Steampunk Transformers<\/span> (no longer online: idwpublishing.com\/titles\/transformers\/hos.shtml), with art by&#8230; <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Ted McKeever<\/span> (no longer online: luna7.com\/tmckeever\/tmckeever.html)?! Isn&#8217;t that sort of like hiring <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">David Lynch<\/span> (no longer online: davidlynch.com) to direct <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.yojoe.com\" target=\"_blank\">G.I. Joe<\/a>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mickey is now a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.engadget.com\/2006-03-01-switched-on-when-you-wish-upon-a-star.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">one-button mouse<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20101123081912\/http:\/\/www.shyamalan.cjb.net:80\/\" target=\"_blank\">difficult-to-pronounce<\/a> <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.mnight.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">boy from Philly<\/a> is certainly a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.thesmokinggun.com\/documents\/celebrity\/hollywood-numbers\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">big-spender<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is simultaneously <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">fascinating and enraging<\/span> (no longer online: familymediaguide.com\/specials\/Oscars_2006.html). I sympathize with parents who don&#8217;t have time to keep up with popular culture and need an unbiased information source to judge for themselves whether or not a movie is appropriate for their kids, but I don&#8217;t think this is it. Who are these people? Who appointed them? I&#8217;m worried they are indirectly censoring films, under the guise of informing parents. It&#8217;s about <em>the children<\/em>, you understand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let&#8217;s see, what did we get out of Apple&#8217;s latest extravaganza:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">iPod Hi-Fi<\/span> (no longer online: apple.com\/ipodhifi): No doubt a fun toy for flush audiofiles, but kinda useless for a New York City apartment-dweller like myself.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.apple.com\/mac-mini\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Mac Mini<\/a>: Take out the video card, add a remote control, and it costs $100 more? Although to be totally honest, I must admit I don&#8217;t really understand what a <a href=\"https:\/\/gizmodo.com\/apple-fun-announcements-new-mac-mini-157454\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">video card does<\/a>. While the whole concept of a Mac media center thingie on my TV sounds really neat, the price hike completely soured it for me.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Leather iPod Case: insanely overpriced cow-flesh sleeve with no access to the face. In other words, it&#8217;s designed specifically to scratch your iPod. I just have to <a href=\"https:\/\/gizmodo.com\/apple-ipod-leather-cases-157487\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">join in<\/a> the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.engadget.com\/2006-02-28-apple-intros-99-leather-ipod-case.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">chorus<\/a> here: What were they <em>thinking<\/em>?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Thank goodness that during the phenomenal catastrophe that was Katrina, Bush was <a href=\"http:\/\/us.cnn.com\/2006\/POLITICS\/03\/02\/fema.tapes\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">watching a lot of television and asking a lot of good questions<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/journal.neilgaiman.com\/2006\/02\/absolute-sandman-request.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Absolute Sandman<\/a>. Darn. Guess I wasted my time and money tracking down those first-edition hardcovers on eBay&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Portions of today&#8217;s blockbuster Dork Report were brought to you by Andrea &amp; Dave.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Wow, dude from Dominos is straight-up hard-core Catholic (no longer online: news.scotsman.com\/international.cfm?id=315402006), baby. Watch your tail, Chick-fil-a. Steampunk Transformers (no longer online: idwpublishing.com\/titles\/transformers\/hos.shtml), with art by&#8230; Ted McKeever (no longer online: luna7.com\/tmckeever\/tmckeever.html)?! Isn&#8217;t that sort of like hiring David Lynch (no longer online: davidlynch.com) to direct G.I. Joe? Mickey is now a one-button mouse. My [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8340,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"single-mini","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-154","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dork-report"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa9lhB-2u","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":291,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-june-19-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":154,"position":0},"title":"The Dork Report for June 19, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"June 19, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"How much is a feature film digital download worth? Or rather, how much are consumers willing to pay? An \u201calbum\u201d of songs far, far less than cd quality goes for $9.99, so maybe $9.99-19.99 movies will work after all. (guest submission from Wisely-Keeping-Her-Netflix-Subscription Andrea) A great site [no longer online:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":297,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-june-28-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":154,"position":1},"title":"The Dork Report for June 28, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"June 28, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Stanley Kubrick's first short film! (guest submission from Kubrick the Kute & Cuddly Hippo) Oh boy, how exciting: Flash Player 9 (no longer online: adobe.com\/go\/getflash). Attention actors, line up for the Transformers open casting call (no longer online: boingboing.net\/2006\/06\/27\/transformers_casting.html). (guest submission from Dave) Forget Norway! Come to Kenya! (no longer\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":564,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-december-20-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":154,"position":2},"title":"The Dork Report for December 20, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"December 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"That nice Pennsylvania boy Trent's been busy: upcoming New Nine Inch Nails live DVD and studio album. (spotted on Paper Thin Walls [no longer online: paperthinwalls.com\/bullhorn\/item?id=1205]) Transformers trailer. (guest submission from Andrea)","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":448,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-october-9-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":154,"position":3},"title":"The Dork Report for October 9, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"October 9, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"The official movie site for Fast Food Nation features Web 2.0-ish newsfeeds from YouTube, del.icio.us, and other fun stuff. (spotted on Popwatch [no longer online: popwatch.ew.com\/popwatch\/2006\/10\/fast_food_natio.html] by Happy Meal Andrea) Help make Optimus Prime say \"I guess I'll transformer into a truck now.\" See also Top Ten Lines Optimus Prime\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":410,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-september-9-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":154,"position":4},"title":"The Dork Report for September 9, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"September 9, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"An Ultimately negative (but insightfully so) piece on Watchmen, gleaned from its Wikipedia entry: \"Fighting Evil, Quoting Nietzsche: Did the comic book really need to grow up?\" by Tom Shone. Quinn [no longer online: simonhaertel.de]: a really fun and really free Tetris falling blocks game for the Mac. Serve with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":155,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/daily-dork-report-for-march-7-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":154,"position":5},"title":"The Dork Report for March 7, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"March 7, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Cheap therapy (no longer online: okcupid.com\/tests\/take): find out what's wrong with you but not how to fix it. Me? I'm an Outcast Genius (60% Nerd, 56% Geek, 69% Dork), an Observer (Enneagram type FIVE - BZ), but a pathetic 47% fuckable. Gorillaz to tour as 3D holograms (no longer online:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=154"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8110,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/154\/revisions\/8110"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=154"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=154"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=154"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}