{"id":179,"date":"2006-03-23T08:51:22","date_gmt":"2006-03-23T15:51:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/?p=179"},"modified":"2023-04-07T15:27:01","modified_gmt":"2023-04-07T19:27:01","slug":"the-dork-report-for-march-23-2006","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-march-23-2006\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dork Report for March 23, 2006"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Well, I don’t trust me, either<\/span> (no longer online: ur.umn.edu\/FMPro?-db=releases&-lay=web&-format=umnnewsreleases\/releasesdetail.html&ID=2816&-Find). So there!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bizarre story of New Line’s resolutely non-ironic Snakes on a Plane<\/em> continues: Snakes on a Blog<\/span> (no longer online: snakesonablog.com) and a slew of amateur marketing<\/span> (no longer online: forums.fark.com\/cgi\/fark\/comments.pl?IDLink=1949081&thread_type=voteresults), most of which will probably be better than the real thing. My favorite: “Jonathan Frakes on a Dame”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The original hand-scrawled liner notes<\/a> to what is perhaps my most-played cd<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quotable Mike: “This is New York, and I would suggest the coyote may have more problems<\/span> than the rest of us.” (no longer online: nytimes.com\/2006\/03\/22\/nyregion\/elusive-coyote-is-captured-in-central-park.html)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As if proof was needed<\/span> (no longer online: superdickery.com) that comics corrupt our nation’s youth, who would surely otherwise be reading Ranger Rick<\/span> (no longer online: nwf.org\/kidzone\/kzPage.cfm?siteId=3) and Highlights<\/a>. My favorite: Holy Boner, Batman<\/span>! (no longer online: superdickery.com\/batmans-boner\/) (spotted on Boing Boing<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Radiohead have suddenly resurfaced: a new tour<\/span> (no longer online: pitchforkmedia.com\/news\/06-03\/21.shtml) and A Scanner Darkly<\/a> soundtrack. Plus, Thom Yorke won’t play ball<\/span> (no longer online: edition.cnn.com\/2006\/SHOWBIZ\/Music\/03\/21\/people.thomyorke.ap) like Bono, and is planning a solo album<\/span> (no longer online: pitchforkmedia.com\/news\/06-03\/20.shtml).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well, I don’t trust me, either (no longer online: ur.umn.edu\/FMPro?-db=releases&-lay=web&-format=umnnewsreleases\/releasesdetail.html&ID=2816&-Find). So there! The bizarre story of New Line’s resolutely non-ironic Snakes on a Plane continues: Snakes on a Blog (no longer online: snakesonablog.com) and a slew of amateur marketing (no longer online: forums.fark.com\/cgi\/fark\/comments.pl?IDLink=1949081&thread_type=voteresults), most of which will probably be better than the real thing. My […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8340,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"single-mini","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dork-report"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa9lhB-2T","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":294,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-june-22-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":179,"position":0},"title":"The Dork Report for June 22, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"June 22, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Why Hollywood never gets any work done. (guest submission from Insider Andrea) Spotted on the same site: a ratings schema I can get behind. When dating AOL, breaking up is not an option. Linking to this will score me points with my dork-loving girlfriend for weeks: Helvetica vs. Arial (no\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":378,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-august-21-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":179,"position":1},"title":"The Dork Report for August 21, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"August 21, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Excavating some barely-remembered childhood tunes: The Muppet Show Mahna Mahna song. Sublime. The Sesame Street pinball counting song. Much more dated than I remember, but I'm digging those steel drums! A grand idea: My Dream App (no longer online: mydreamapp.com). On my first skim through the submissions, a Quicken-killer sounds\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":375,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-august-14-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":179,"position":2},"title":"The Dork Report for August 14, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"August 14, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"A playable Lego guitar (no longer online: geekasaurus.com\/clint\/gallery\/legoguitar). Yay, fun! Lego Star Wars II! (no longer online: lucasarts.com\/games\/legostarwarsii) Sleepy Kitties II and III. (guest submission from Meowzzzzz... Andrea) (YouTube links no longer online) The Tron Guy, the Peter Pan Guy, and all of us... we are the web (no longer\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":131,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/daily-dork-report-for-january-25-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":179,"position":3},"title":"Daily Dork Report for January 25, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"January 25, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"In interactive design news, Microsoft announces a \"Flash Killer\"? Please. Adobe tried it, failed, and resorted to buying their only competetor Macromedia. Can somebody please explain to me how that's legal? So I suppose one way to look at things is that a resumption of competition is good news. Yo,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":191,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-april-13-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":179,"position":4},"title":"The Dork Report for April 13, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"April 13, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Can a virtual band break up [no longer online: enjoyment.independent.co.uk\/music\/features\/article357310.ece]? The latest Gorillaz newsletter features the following response from Murdoc: \u201cAbsolutely gobsmacking! I know whatshisface gave us a hand with the record and, yes, a great big round of applause to him and his Gorillaz 'tribute act' concerts in Harlem,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":379,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-august-22-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":179,"position":5},"title":"The Dork Report for August 22, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"August 22, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"My head is spinning, counting all these Doctor Who spinoffs! Cancelled before it even began was Rose Tyler: Earth Defence, starring Billie Piper. The other three are still in motion: definitely Torchwood and maybe K-9 Adventures and Sarah Jane Investigates. Time Magazine's 50 Coolest Websites for 2006 (and Top 25\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=179"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/179\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8168,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/179\/revisions\/8168"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}