{"id":215,"date":"2006-05-03T06:53:46","date_gmt":"2006-05-03T13:53:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/2006\/05\/03\/the-dork-report-for-may-3-2006\/"},"modified":"2023-04-07T15:27:00","modified_gmt":"2023-04-07T19:27:00","slug":"the-dork-report-for-may-3-2006","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-may-3-2006\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dork Report for May 3, 2006"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

How can I get the job of designing a fake internet<\/a> for Hollywood? (spotted on Boing Boing<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Behold! The atheist’s nightmare<\/a>. Whew\u2026 for a moment there I was afraid he was going to roll a condom onto it. (guest submission by Potassium-Rich Andrea)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How can I get the job of designing a fake internet for Hollywood? (spotted on Boing Boing) Behold! The atheist’s nightmare. Whew\u2026 for a moment there I was afraid he was going to roll a condom onto it. (guest submission by Potassium-Rich Andrea)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8340,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"single-mini","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dork-report"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa9lhB-3t","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":144,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/daily-dork-report-for-february-21-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":215,"position":0},"title":"Daily Dork Report for February 21, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"February 21, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"I've just gotta say: Smoothicons. So smooth, so icon-y. You can do no better. Finally, an explanation (no longer online: wired.com\/news\/culture\/0,1284,68893,00.html) as to why my iPod seems to have a strange affection for Future Sound of London and \"Jessica\" by the Allman Brothers. The Best. Game. Ever. in its Lego\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":221,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-may-19-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":215,"position":1},"title":"The Dork Report for May 19, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"May 19, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"A well-written rant about photorealistic videogames also holds true as to why Polar Express was one of the worst movies I've ever seen (yes, I'm still mad about that). (spotten on Kottke.org) Katamari Damacy embroidery & pillow on Boing Boing. Real-life Parrots on a Plane (no longer online: iamtv.tv\/snakesonaplane). (spotted\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":411,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-september-12-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":215,"position":2},"title":"The Dork Report for September 12, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"September 12, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Three cheers for Wikipedia defying China's censors! Boo hiss Google and Yahoo! (spotted on Boing Boing) It's always fun to read DVD Time's reviews of Doctor Who DVDs, written from the perspective of longtime fans. The upcoming The Mark of the Rani DVD just reminds me how unexcited I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":377,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-august-18-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":215,"position":3},"title":"The Dork Report for August 18, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"August 18, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Kitties bustin' a move (no longer online: b3ta.hnldesign.nl\/index.php?list=4) in the rekkid sto'. (passed around at work) A win for the ACLU! Confirming what every sensible person already knows, the government broke the law. Flash bites the hand that feeds it. Brilliant (and cathartic)! (spotted on Boing Boing) Too impatient for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":194,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-april-20-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":215,"position":4},"title":"The Dork Report for April 20, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"April 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Pee Wee. Definitely Pee Wee. *shudder* (guest submission by Dave) Who knew? Bush took the initiative in inventing the iPod. And now that a huge percentage of the population owns one, the Justice Department can activate the hidden Echelon II chip inside... NOW! (guest submission by Dave) Chris Ware on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":292,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-june-20-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":215,"position":5},"title":"The Dork Report for June 20, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"June 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Most. Pagan. Watch. Ever. (no longer online: thinkgeek.com\/gadgets\/watches\/7d2b\/) (spotted on Boing Boing) Nature upends the fairytale (no longer online: cnn.com\/2006\/WORLD\/americas\/06\/20\/oatmeal.bear.ap). (guest submission from Godless Killing Machine Andrea) Shopify is going to be huge. Set up a complete, functioning e-commerce site (that doesn\u2019t look like ass) for free? Worth 2-3% of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=215"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7845,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/215\/revisions\/7845"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}