{"id":219,"date":"2006-05-16T19:52:06","date_gmt":"2006-05-17T02:52:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/2006\/05\/16\/the-dork-report-for-may-16-2006\/"},"modified":"2023-04-07T15:27:00","modified_gmt":"2023-04-07T19:27:00","slug":"the-dork-report-for-may-16-2006","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-may-16-2006\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dork Report for May 16, 2006"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20070305152143\/http:\/\/www.wired.com:80\/news\/columns\/alttext\/0,70841-0.html\" target=\"_blank\">Endor freezes over into Hoth<\/a>. Okay, that was labored; sorry. (guest submission from Darth Andrea)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hey &#8211; the <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Emperor<\/span> (video no longer online: youtube.com\/watch?v=VO9zwhersfk) uses the same model phone as <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20220416150602\/https:\/\/www.fox.com\/24\/\" target=\"_blank\">C.T.U.<\/a>! <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20071103212559\/http:\/\/www.ccir.ed.ac.uk:80\/~jad\/ringtone.html\" target=\"_blank\">Buh-up bee-oop<\/a>! And check out all those points of articulation. (guest submission from Dave)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Which sent me on a long, dark journey into the deepest depths of dork:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>A detailed guide to <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/actionfigures.about.com\/library\/weekly\/aa012098.htm\" target=\"_blank\">action figure articulation<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Why you should shut up if your DC Comics action figure <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20120112142311\/http:\/\/www.dccomics.com\/dcdirect\/?action=faq\" target=\"_blank\">doesn&#8217;t have enough<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20070325025620\/http:\/\/science.enotes.com:80\/how-products-encyclopedia\/action-figure\" target=\"_blank\">history of the action figure<\/a>, with a pretty sexy, albeit creepily limbless, illustration of a female torso (is that you, <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.yojoe.com\/action\/82\/scarlett.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Scarlet<\/a>?).<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Black-costume Spider-Man has enough points of articulation to be a <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.toymania.com\/columns\/spotlight\/mssymspideypics.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">master yogi<\/a>, but apparently has bad posture nonetheless.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Western celebrities are <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/japander.com\/japander\/simpson.htm\" target=\"_blank\">attacking Tokyo!<\/a>. (guest submission from Lost-in-Translation Andrea)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A choice selection of <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">book cover design<\/span> (no longer online: covers.fwis.com). (guest submission from Andrea)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>iTunes is selling the audio of Stephen Colbert&#8217;s White House Correspondents&#8217; Dinner (no longer online: phobos.apple.com\/WebObjects\/MZStore.woa\/wa\/viewAlbum?id=152614621&amp;s=143441) speech for $1.99. (the free video seems to have disappeared from YouTube&#8230;)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Onanists beware the <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">ceiling cat<\/span> (no longer online: ceilingcat.com). (guest submission from Master-of-Her-Domain Andrea)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Look, it&#8217;s a <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.apple.com\/macbook\/\" target=\"_blank\">giant iPod<\/a>. Almost as much oomph as the MacBook Pro, but with a relatively itty-bitty screen. (guest submission from Dave)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Endor freezes over into Hoth. Okay, that was labored; sorry. (guest submission from Darth Andrea) Hey &#8211; the Emperor (video no longer online: youtube.com\/watch?v=VO9zwhersfk) uses the same model phone as C.T.U.! Buh-up bee-oop! And check out all those points of articulation. (guest submission from Dave) Which sent me on a long, dark journey into the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8340,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"single-mini","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dork-report"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa9lhB-3x","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":279,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-june-15-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":219,"position":0},"title":"The Dork Report for June 15, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"June 15, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Nonsuch Records launches a blog, featuring a recent post from Dork Report favorite Laura Veirs. Fake is the New Real, Pt. II. Eek! (guest submission from Dave) Wipe your tears away, indeed. Bush as Bono. An all-star musical tribute to Neil. (guest submission from Soon-to-be-Sandman-Fan Andrea) The answer is, of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":321,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-july-17-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":219,"position":1},"title":"The Dork Report for July 17, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"July 17, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"The Design Observer reports: the 2006 National Design Award honorees refused the invitation to the White House. Bob and weave in front of the new Spider-Man 3 lenticular poster. (guest submission from Spider-Girl Andrea) Mr. T. keeps it real. (guest submission from Fool Pitier Andrea)","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":229,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-june-1-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":219,"position":2},"title":"The Dork Report for June 1, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"June 1, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Fight Club's narrative web illustrated by Lego. (spotted on Kottke.org) Why I'm a Mac user, reason no. 3,725. (guest submission from Dave) Why I'm a Mac user, reason no. 3,726. I'm especially impressed by the \u201cSimplified\u201d Device Setup. Simple! Why I'm a Mac user, reasons no. 3,727-3,747. (guest submission from\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":498,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-october-31-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":219,"position":3},"title":"The Dork Report for October 31, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"October 31, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"The marketing luminaries behind MyDreamApp are about to launch a project on an even larger scale: MacHeist (no longer online: macheist.com). Keeping it brief: U2 3D (no longer online: news.yahoo.com\/s\/nm\/20061031\/film_nm\/u2_dc_2). (guest submission from Andrea) A lost Stanley Kubrick treatment may see realization. (guest submission from Andrea)","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":294,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-june-22-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":219,"position":4},"title":"The Dork Report for June 22, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"June 22, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Why Hollywood never gets any work done. (guest submission from Insider Andrea) Spotted on the same site: a ratings schema I can get behind. When dating AOL, breaking up is not an option. Linking to this will score me points with my dork-loving girlfriend for weeks: Helvetica vs. Arial (no\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":180,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-march-28-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":219,"position":5},"title":"The Dork Report for March 28, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"March 28, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Chris Whitley's posthumous album Reiter In comes out today. About 1998 or so, I designed one iteration of his official-unofficial fan site. A breathtaking ABC memo on preferred human misery for Extreme Makeover. Didn't they see Thank You for Smoking? (guest submission from Andrea) Clash of the memes: Snakes on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=219"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8241,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219\/revisions\/8241"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}