{"id":291,"date":"2006-06-19T20:22:03","date_gmt":"2006-06-20T03:22:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/2006\/06\/19\/the-dork-report-for-june-19-2006\/"},"modified":"2023-04-07T15:27:30","modified_gmt":"2023-04-07T19:27:30","slug":"the-dork-report-for-june-19-2006","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-june-19-2006\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dork Report for June 19, 2006"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>How much is a feature film digital download <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20080829231323\/http:\/\/www.variety.com\/VR1117945507.html\" target=\"_blank\">worth<\/a>? Or rather, how much are consumers willing to pay? An \u201calbum\u201d of songs far, far less than cd quality goes for $9.99, so maybe $9.99-19.99 movies will work after all. (guest submission from Wisely-Keeping-Her-Netflix-Subscription Andrea)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A great site [no longer online: boardsmag.com\/screeningroom] full of interesting commercials, shorts, and music videos (notable: They Might be Giants\u2019 &#8220;Bastard Wants to Hit Me&#8221;). (spotted on <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20100910042639\/http:\/\/www.boingboing.net:80\/2006\/06\/18\/wonderfully_bizarre_.html\" target=\"_blank\">Boing Boing<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Have no fear of The Dork Report continuing to live up to its name; it&#8217;s Transformers Update time!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Taking mash-ups to a new level: <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/gizmodo.com\/gadgets\/gadgets\/millennium-falcon-transformer-spotted-181746.php\" target=\"_blank\">Star Wars Transformers<\/a>. (guest submission by Dave)<\/li><li>Count down the days until the live-action crapfest comes out, on the <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.transformersmovie.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">official movie site<\/a>.<\/li><li>Relive the wretchedly awful original feature film (with one of Orson Welles\u2019 final appearances) in the upcoming Transformers Special Edition dvd [no longer online: forevergeek.com\/\/transformers_the_movie_20th_anniversary_dvd.php].<\/li><li>What&#8217;s stopping a G.I.Joe movie? If they make one, a few years later they could do G.I.Joe vs. Transformers. It&#8217;d be like <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20070707073736\/http:\/\/www.avp-movie.com:80\/\" target=\"_blank\">Alien vs. Predator<\/a>; when two franchises burn out, smash them up and you get twice the crap!<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Memo to future first children: showing up at concerts given by avid anti-war artists is probably not a good idea [no longer online: ateaseweb.com\/news\/archive\/2006\/06\/on_the_shitlist.php].<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Unsurprising it wouldn&#8217;t occur to the Pentagon to research a <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/news.bbc.co.uk\/1\/hi\/world\/americas\/4174519.stm?alt\" target=\"_blank\">Peace Bomb<\/a> or a Kitten Bomb [no longer online: http:\/\/indyink.com\/images\/designs\/Felix.gif]. (spotted on <a rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20080828022214\/http:\/\/www.forteantimes.com\/breaking_news\/breaking_news.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Fortean Times<\/a>, with reporting by Andrea)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A new interpretation on a classic product of The Mighty Marvel Metaphor Machine. \u201cGrrrrrrrrRRRRRAGH HULK CUM!!!\u201d [no longer online: soulmaninc.co.uk\/images\/Banner_Hulk_Transformation.jpg]<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Heyyy! Only a few select scenes in Superman Returns will be in 3D? Rip-off! [no longer online: imax.com:80\/ImaxWeb\/filmDetail.do?type=comingSoon&amp;movieID=code__.__27]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How much is a feature film digital download worth? Or rather, how much are consumers willing to pay? An \u201calbum\u201d of songs far, far less than cd quality goes for $9.99, so maybe $9.99-19.99 movies will work after all. (guest submission from Wisely-Keeping-Her-Netflix-Subscription Andrea) A great site [no longer online: boardsmag.com\/screeningroom] full of interesting commercials, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8340,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"single-mini","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-291","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dork-report"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa9lhB-4H","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":215,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-may-3-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":291,"position":0},"title":"The Dork Report for May 3, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"May 3, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"How can I get the job of designing a fake internet for Hollywood? (spotted on Boing Boing) Behold! The atheist's nightmare. Whew\u2026 for a moment there I was afraid he was going to roll a condom onto it. (guest submission by Potassium-Rich Andrea)","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":411,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-september-12-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":291,"position":1},"title":"The Dork Report for September 12, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"September 12, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Three cheers for Wikipedia defying China's censors! Boo hiss Google and Yahoo! (spotted on Boing Boing) It's always fun to read DVD Time's reviews of Doctor Who DVDs, written from the perspective of longtime fans. The upcoming The Mark of the Rani DVD just reminds me how unexcited I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":144,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/daily-dork-report-for-february-21-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":291,"position":2},"title":"Daily Dork Report for February 21, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"February 21, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"I've just gotta say: Smoothicons. So smooth, so icon-y. You can do no better. Finally, an explanation (no longer online: wired.com\/news\/culture\/0,1284,68893,00.html) as to why my iPod seems to have a strange affection for Future Sound of London and \"Jessica\" by the Allman Brothers. The Best. Game. Ever. in its Lego\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":221,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-may-19-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":291,"position":3},"title":"The Dork Report for May 19, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"May 19, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"A well-written rant about photorealistic videogames also holds true as to why Polar Express was one of the worst movies I've ever seen (yes, I'm still mad about that). (spotten on Kottke.org) Katamari Damacy embroidery & pillow on Boing Boing. Real-life Parrots on a Plane (no longer online: iamtv.tv\/snakesonaplane). (spotted\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":377,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-august-18-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":291,"position":4},"title":"The Dork Report for August 18, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"August 18, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Kitties bustin' a move (no longer online: b3ta.hnldesign.nl\/index.php?list=4) in the rekkid sto'. (passed around at work) A win for the ACLU! Confirming what every sensible person already knows, the government broke the law. Flash bites the hand that feeds it. Brilliant (and cathartic)! (spotted on Boing Boing) Too impatient for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":155,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/daily-dork-report-for-march-7-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":291,"position":5},"title":"The Dork Report for March 7, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"March 7, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Cheap therapy (no longer online: okcupid.com\/tests\/take): find out what's wrong with you but not how to fix it. Me? I'm an Outcast Genius (60% Nerd, 56% Geek, 69% Dork), an Observer (Enneagram type FIVE - BZ), but a pathetic 47% fuckable. Gorillaz to tour as 3D holograms (no longer online:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dork Report&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/291","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=291"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/291\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7857,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/291\/revisions\/7857"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=291"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=291"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=291"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}