{"id":43,"date":"2005-09-24T12:02:24","date_gmt":"2005-09-24T19:02:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/?p=43"},"modified":"2022-10-24T17:37:49","modified_gmt":"2022-10-24T21:37:49","slug":"spam-poem-no-2-250-ways-to-thank-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/spam-poem-no-2-250-ways-to-thank-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Spam Poem No. 2: “250 Ways to Thank You”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The second in a series of found poetry taken from spam subjects. I’m taking a different tack this time, avoiding the more absurdist lines that appear in No. 1 “Here we come!”<\/a> (there’s plenty more of that waiting for No. 3) and aiming instead for a coherent narrative flow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

250 Ways to Thank You<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Don’t tell anyone please
about celebration<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you ignoring me?
do you care?
is it funny?
It’s not a joke<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’ve Got a solution for you
good idea
if you need it
here you go<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Great Experiment
something unusual
nice gift for everyone
Get what you need<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don’t feel bad
You have been selected
Let’s meet up again soon
one more time<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The second in a series of found poetry taken from spam subjects. I’m taking a different tack this time, avoiding the more absurdist lines that appear in No. 1 “Here we come!” (there’s plenty more of that waiting for No. 3) and aiming instead for a coherent narrative flow. 250 Ways to Thank You Don’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3292,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[1406,1167,1168,1404,1405,1407],"class_list":["post-43","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spam-poetry","tag-flarf","tag-poem","tag-poetry","tag-spam","tag-spoem","tag-spoetry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/04\/spoetry.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa9lhB-H","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":205,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/flarf-gesundheit-more-spam-poetry-prior-art\/","url_meta":{"origin":43,"position":0},"title":"Flarf! Gesundheit. More Spam Poetry prior art","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"April 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Forget \"spoetry\"; according to Boing Boing, experiments in the field stretch back a few years, and were known as \"flarf\". The Flarf Festival is a series of live events in New York City between April 20-22. For archival purposes, here are my own three attempts: General Flood250 Ways to Thank\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spam Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Spam Poetry","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/spam-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/04\/spoetry.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":104,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/spam-poem-no-3-general-flood\/","url_meta":{"origin":43,"position":1},"title":"Spam Poem No. 3: “General Flood”","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"December 18, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Please enjoy \"General Flood\", the third in our ongoing series of flarf (spam poetry), assembled from the nonsense I find in my spam folder. General Flood thank god I'm back nowImportant questiondid you hear about thisgeneral flood you won't believe thisbereavemententering the line ofpopulations if left after flooding isit, Will\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spam Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Spam Poetry","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/spam-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/04\/spoetry.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/spam-poem-no-1-here-we-come\/","url_meta":{"origin":43,"position":2},"title":"Spam Poem No. 1: “Here we come!”","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"August 11, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"In recent months I've noticed my spam becoming increasingly bizarre. Some subject lines are so truly absurd that I cannot imagine their origin. Are they simply really bad translations of, say, Russian or Portuguese? Are they random machine generations meant to foil spam filters? It's a mystery. It has, however,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spam Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Spam Poetry","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/spam-poetry\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2006\/04\/spoetry.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2635,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/visualizing-the-invisible-bright-star\/","url_meta":{"origin":43,"position":3},"title":"Jane Campion Visualizes the Invisible, in Bright Star","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"December 4, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"As an English Major in another life, I'm not uninterested in poetry, or Keats in particular. But movies about poetry are another matter. It's difficult to imagine a less natural source material for the eminently visual medium of cinema than poetry. You can mute the sound, drain the color, or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "3 Stars"","block_context":{"text":"3 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/3-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Bright Star","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/bright-star.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/bright-star.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/bright-star.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/bright-star.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/bright-star.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":178,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-dork-report-for-march-20-2006\/","url_meta":{"origin":43,"position":4},"title":"The Dork Report for March 20, 2006","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"March 21, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"A third 2,500 year-old sarcophagus (no longer online: us.cnn.com\/2006\/WORLD\/europe\/03\/20\/cyprus.coffin.ap) found in Cyprus, with illustrations from Homer. The US and Britain each already have one; who gets to cart this one home? Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blogge (no longer online: houseoffame.blogs.friendster.com\/my_blog). (guest submission by Dave) In what can only be evidence\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Dork Report"","block_context":{"text":"The Dork Report","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/dork-report\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Dork Report","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/dork-report.png?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5695,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/toys-shoot-to-kill-in-g-i-joe-retaliation\/","url_meta":{"origin":43,"position":5},"title":"Toys shoot to kill in G.I. Joe: Retaliation","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"July 30, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Jon M. Chu's 2013 toy-based sequel G.I. Joe: Retaliation is inappropriately cruel for a movie based on children's toys\/cartoons\/comics, in which nobody ever really got hurt. The gun fetishism is unsurprising, but it is surprising that its heroes and villains both shoot to kill. There's a spectacular amount of onscreen\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "2 Stars"","block_context":{"text":"2 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/2-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"G.I. 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