Les Mis\u00e9rables left me cold
Nothing shown and everything told<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All that hollering and shrieking
Leaves my head aching<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every line must rhyme
Across its excessive running time<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No subtlety of emotion
The screen filled with commotion<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eddie Redmayne sings a song atop a pile of doors
My god what a bore<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hugh Jackman sheathes his claws
To grimace and overemote without pause<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Russell Crowe huffs and puffs
Cashing his check to afford more foodstuffs<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It’s Anne Hathaway’s big Oscar chance
Which she almost ruined by forgetting her underpants<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every theater nerd knows all the words
Everyone else calls it a turd<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Les Mis\u00e9rables left me coldNothing shown and everything told All that hollering and shriekingLeaves my head aching Every line must rhymeAcross its excessive running time No subtlety of emotionThe screen filled with commotion Eddie Redmayne sings a song atop a pile of doorsMy god what a bore Hugh Jackman sheathes his clawsTo grimace and overemote […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5850,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,2],"tags":[1719,1798,1993,355,357,61],"class_list":["post-5849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-1-star","category-movies","tag-1719","tag-anne-hathaway","tag-eddie-redmayne","tag-hugh-jackman","tag-musical","tag-russell-crowe"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/les-miserables-2012.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa9lhB-1wl","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5804,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/james-mangolds-the-wolverine-is-the-right-kind-of-serious\/","url_meta":{"origin":5849,"position":0},"title":"James Mangold’s The Wolverine is the right kind of “serious”","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"August 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I was very pleasantly surprised by James Mangold's The Wolverine. Everybody involved did the right thing by simply pretending that the appallingly awful X-Men Origins: Wolverine was never made. Marvel Comics continues their (mostly) winning streak, showing everyone how superhero movies should be done. Hopefully soon we will be rid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "3 Stars"","block_context":{"text":"3 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/3-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hugh Jackman in The Wolverine","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/wolverine-2013.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/wolverine-2013.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/wolverine-2013.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/wolverine-2013.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/wolverine-2013.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1361,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/ridley-scott-good-year\/","url_meta":{"origin":5849,"position":1},"title":"Russell Crowe and Marion Cotillard bake a souffl\u00e9 in Ridley Scott’s A Good Year","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"January 5, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Scott returns to France for the first time since his 1977 feature film debut The Duellists for the fluffy souffl\u00e9 A Good Year. Maximillian Skinner (Russell Crowe) - hardly the most subtle of names - is a self-proclaimed asshole that inherits his uncle's winemaking estate in Provence. His Uncle Henry\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "2 Stars"","block_context":{"text":"2 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/2-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"A Good Year","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/a-good-year-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/a-good-year-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/a-good-year-feature.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/a-good-year-feature.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/01\/a-good-year-feature.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1716,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/australia\/","url_meta":{"origin":5849,"position":2},"title":"Australia is Baz Luhrmann’s Gone With the Wind","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"April 9, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Strictly speaking, Baz Luhrmann has made only one musical, the guilty pleasure Moulin Rouge (2001). But, last seen directing Puccini's opera La boh\u00e8me on Broadway, he can't seem to resist the genre. Strictly Ballroom (1992), Romeo + Juliet (1996), and now Australia all incorporate key elements of the musical: exaggerated\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "2 Stars"","block_context":{"text":"2 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/2-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Australia","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/australia-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/australia-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/australia-feature.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/australia-feature.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/australia-feature.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1738,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/mutant-mayhem-x-men\/","url_meta":{"origin":5849,"position":3},"title":"Mutant Mayhem: Bryan Singer’s X-Men","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"April 30, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Bryan Singer's X-Men surprised me twice, first in a theater in 2000 and then again on a recent rewatch, by being better than it had any right to be. I used to be a comics fan, and read most of Chris Claremont and John Romita Jr.'s lengthy run on The\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "4 Stars"","block_context":{"text":"4 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/4-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/x-men-2000-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/x-men-2000-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/x-men-2000-feature.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/x-men-2000-feature.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/x-men-2000-feature.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2035,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-mutant-menagerie-x2-x-men-united-movie-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":5849,"position":4},"title":"The Mutant Menagerie: X2: X-Men United","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"July 8, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"In retrospect, the first X-Men movie did an incredible job of managing the introduction of a wide array of characters to mass audiences likely unfamiliar with the decades' worth of continuity established in its comic book source material. But the sequel X2: X-Men United crowds the stage with too many\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "3 Stars"","block_context":{"text":"3 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/3-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"X2: X-Men United","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/x-men-2-united.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/x-men-2-united.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/x-men-2-united.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/x-men-2-united.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/x-men-2-united.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3476,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/xmen-origins-wolverine\/","url_meta":{"origin":5849,"position":5},"title":"Rewind & Reboot: X-Men Origins: Wolverine","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"February 12, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Much of what's wrong with X-Men Origins: Wolverine can be traced right back to its confused conception, indeed beginning with its clumsy title. The ungainly prefix is clumsily bolted on solely for it to alphabetize adjacent to the three previous X-Men films on Walmart shelves, iTunes, Pay-Per-View, and torrent trackers.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "1 Star"","block_context":{"text":"1 Star","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/1-star\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"X-Men Origins: Wolverine","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/x-men-origins-wolverine.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/x-men-origins-wolverine.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/x-men-origins-wolverine.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/x-men-origins-wolverine.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/x-men-origins-wolverine.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5849","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5849"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5849\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5855,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5849\/revisions\/5855"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5850"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}