{"id":5893,"date":"2010-02-04T08:52:00","date_gmt":"2010-02-04T13:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/?p=5893"},"modified":"2022-09-18T09:00:37","modified_gmt":"2022-09-18T13:00:37","slug":"pandorum-is-all-premise-and-no-logic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/pandorum-is-all-premise-and-no-logic\/","title":{"rendered":"Pandorum is all premise and no logic"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>I rented Christian Alvart&#8217;s <em>Pandorum<\/em> solely on the strength of the premise: two men awake from suspended animation, on a spaceship, in a locked room, not knowing where they are, what their mission is, or if there even is a mission. It&#8217;s well cast with Dennis Quaid and the very intense Ben Foster. This is all good stuff, but it spirals downhill from there, with unimaginative monsters and a huge number of gaping plot holes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Are there no portholes out which to look, and notice the absence of stars?<\/li><li>Unless I missed something, it&#8217;s never explicitly stated the monsters are descended from the ship&#8217;s passengers. Not only is this plot twist cribbed from the caving horror movie <em>Descent<\/em>, it&#8217;s scientifically implausible that any species other than a fruit fly to physically devolve so much in only 900 years.<\/li><li>Why would the bad guy lock himself in suspended animation for hundreds of years? To see how his social experiment would turn out? If so, why bother keeping up the ruse for so long?<\/li><li>If the botanist awoke to tend to the stores of plant life, why could she not compute how much time had passed?<\/li><\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I rented Christian Alvart&#8217;s Pandorum solely on the strength of the premise: two men awake from suspended animation, on a spaceship, in a locked room, not knowing where they are, what their mission is, or if there even is a mission. It&#8217;s well cast with Dennis Quaid and the very intense Ben Foster. This is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5894,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,2],"tags":[1485,2031,2030,1072,90,85],"class_list":["post-5893","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2-stars","category-movies","tag-1485","tag-ben-foster","tag-christian-alvart","tag-dennis-quaid","tag-horror","tag-science-fiction"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/pandorum.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa9lhB-1x3","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":906,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/vantage-point\/","url_meta":{"origin":5893,"position":0},"title":"The Rashomon effect in Pete Travis&#8217; Vantage Point","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"July 6, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Vantage Point is an awesome technical achievement, and I don't mean that to damn it with faint praise. Director Pete Travis and writer Barry Levy demonstrate excellent plotting, spatial sense, editing, logistics, and continuity. As a thriller it moves forward relentlessly, and feels comprehensible, self-contained, and very satisfying. It is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;3 Stars&quot;","block_context":{"text":"3 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/3-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Vantage Point","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/vantage-point-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/vantage-point-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/vantage-point-feature.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/vantage-point-feature.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/07\/vantage-point-feature.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":5726,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/never-been-kissed-problematic-or-wacky-misunderstanding\/","url_meta":{"origin":5893,"position":1},"title":"Never Been Kissed: a wacky misunderstanding, or should somebody call the police?","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"February 18, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"?? Without thinking about it too much, the basic premise of Raja Gosnell's Never Been Kissed sounds perfectly fine: an adorkable young adult gets a high school do-over. What could go wrong? And indeed, roughly the first half of Never Been Kissed is likable, powered almost entirely by Drew Barrymore's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;2 Stars&quot;","block_context":{"text":"2 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/2-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Drew Barrymore and Michael Vartan in Never Been Kissed","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/never-been-kissed.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/never-been-kissed.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/never-been-kissed.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/never-been-kissed.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/never-been-kissed.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1897,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/pod-people-film-festival-invasion-of-the-body-snatchers\/","url_meta":{"origin":5893,"position":2},"title":"The Pod People Film Festival: Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"October 6, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"For a pulpy 1950s horror flick relating the strange tale of an invasion of giant brussels sprouts, Don Siegel's Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a startlingly gory, paranoid nightmare positively loaded with political subtext. Its themes of identity, mistrust, and subversion have remained relevant and influential for decades, inspiring\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;2 Stars&quot;","block_context":{"text":"2 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/2-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Invasion of the Body Snatchers 1956","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/invasion-of-the-body-snatchers-1956.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/invasion-of-the-body-snatchers-1956.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/invasion-of-the-body-snatchers-1956.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/invasion-of-the-body-snatchers-1956.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/10\/invasion-of-the-body-snatchers-1956.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1992,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/dennis-hoppers-colors\/","url_meta":{"origin":5893,"position":3},"title":"A Problem With the Whole World: Dennis Hopper&#8217;s Colors","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"March 6, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Dennis Hopper's Colors may be a buddy cop flick on the surface, but it's hardly typical high-concept Hollywood material. It does have a token overarching plot (involving a mismatched pair of cops tracing the perpetrators of a drive-by shooting), but it's merely a loose thread to hold the movie together.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;3 Stars&quot;","block_context":{"text":"3 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/3-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Colors","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/colors-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/colors-1.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/colors-1.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/colors-1.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/colors-1.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1628,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/the-george-a-romero-zombie-cycle-part-5-diary-of-the-dead\/","url_meta":{"origin":5893,"position":4},"title":"The George A. Romero Zombie Cycle Part 5: Diary of the Dead","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"February 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"This is not an opinion you're likely to find anywhere else on the internet, but we are prepared to argue that Diary of the Dead is one of the best of the entire George A. Romero zombie cycle. It sports the best special effects, is the least repetitive or trigger-happy,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;2 Stars&quot;","block_context":{"text":"2 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/2-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Diary of the Dead","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/diary-of-the-dead-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/diary-of-the-dead-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/diary-of-the-dead-feature.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/diary-of-the-dead-feature.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/diary-of-the-dead-feature.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1207,"url":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/midnight-run\/","url_meta":{"origin":5893,"position":5},"title":"De Niro and Grodin are somewhere between Toledo and Cleveland in Martin Brest&#8217;s Midnight Run","author":"Chad Ossman","date":"October 10, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Martin Brest's Midnight Run is an appealingly loose comedy built on a solid premise. It's a classic, almost cliched Hollywood scenario: Jack Walsh (Robert De Niro) is one of the world's last honest cops, rewarded for his integrity by divorce and demotion to the humiliating (and dangerous) level of bounty\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;3 Stars&quot;","block_context":{"text":"3 Stars","link":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/category\/ratings\/3-stars\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/midnight-run-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/midnight-run-feature.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/midnight-run-feature.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/midnight-run-feature.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/midnight-run-feature.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5893","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5893"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5893\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5895,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5893\/revisions\/5895"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5894"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5893"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5893"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chadossman.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5893"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}