Author: Chad Ossman

EW asks, is Jon Stewart a symptom or the cure? (guest submission from Likes-a-Little-Salt-in-Her-Pepper Andrea)

Jamie Hewlett (of Tank Girl and Gorillaz fame) is the London Design Museum’s Designer of the Year. Via the official Gorillaz newsletter, 2D had this to say: “Yeah, he’s definitely a top drawer. I’ve seen some of his pictures and he’s coloured them in really well. He hasn’t even gone over the edges.”

Also from the Gorillaz newsletter: Murdoc is looking for his roots.

Finally a good reason to whack your computer upside the head. (guest submission from Dave)

Lost action figures [no longer online: variety.com/article/VR1117943832?categoryid=14&cs=1&nid=2565] from McFarlane. Seeing as how there’s already one dead character included, I guess it’s not a hint as to who might die tonight. (guest submission from Batten-Down-the-Hatches Andrea)

It was so delayed I stopped checking, but sometime in the past two weeks or so, David Byrne and Brian Eno’s My Life in the Bush of Ghosts [no longer online: http://bushofghosts.wmg.com] Creative Commons remix project went live.

Speaking of Creative Commons, Pearl Jam have released Life Wasted, a music video for free download & distribution.

The dork equivalent of a strip tease. [no longer available: unboxing.com] (guest submission from Dave)

Neil Gaiman & Adam Rogers on Superman for Wired (spotted on Boing Boing). For a strikingly personal take on actually writing Superman, see Steven Seagle’s It’s a Bird…

Want to self-publish a cd or dvd, and have a chunk of change to do it right? Jewelboxing Studio.

Voltron: Defender of the Universe, awkward addition to your DVD shelf, and social lubricant.

You must be joking. I’ve seen newspaper ads advertising the glammed-up Felicity version. I predict lots of puzzled consumers.

Just discovered Cabel Sasser’s (of Panic fame) blog.

Katamari enthusiasts roll up San Francisco. Man, I ‘m living in the wrong city.

A well-written rant about photorealistic videogames also holds true as to why Polar Express was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen (yes, I’m still mad about that). (spotten on Kottke.org)

Katamari Damacy embroidery & pillow on Boing Boing.

Real-life Parrots on a Plane (no longer online: iamtv.tv/snakesonaplane). (spotted on Boing Boing)

More entertaining lunacy (no longer online: abcnews.go.com/GMA/wireStory?id=1975129) from Pat Robertson. Entertaining, that is, if you can pretend there aren’t people out there who believe he speaks for god.

Ah din’t come from no fish! (but what really interests me is that there’s a journal called The Foot?!) (spotted on Fortean Times)

People! Relax! (no longer online: cnn.com/interactive/world/0605/gallery.davinci.protest/frameset.exclude.html) It’s a novel. But hey, at least it’s bringing people together.

Thom Yorke’s new album The Eraser (no longer online: theeraser.net). The cover is gorgeous.

Dude, WTF? (spotted on Fortean Times)

Two Lost goodies linked from EW’s wrap-ups: sublymonal.com (no longer online: sublymonal.com), a kind of annoying puzzle whose solution seems to involve a lot of waiting, and the official Hanso Foundation site.

As if there was any doubt, King Tut was all man (no longer online: timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-2165774,00.html). Let loose the inevitable torrent of puns: Penis jerky. Penis rinds. Bagel with schmear & cox. Pop Cox. (spotted on Fortean Times; featuring reporting by Dave)

Cower before Ars Technica’s rant on the new “Glossbook.” (guest submission from Dave)

Endor freezes over into Hoth. Okay, that was labored; sorry. (guest submission from Darth Andrea)

Hey – the Emperor (video no longer online: youtube.com/watch?v=VO9zwhersfk) uses the same model phone as C.T.U.! Buh-up bee-oop! And check out all those points of articulation. (guest submission from Dave)

Which sent me on a long, dark journey into the deepest depths of dork:

• A detailed guide to action figure articulation.
• Why you should shut up if your DC Comics action figure doesn’t have enough.
• A history of the action figure, with a pretty sexy, albeit creepily limbless, illustration of a female torso (is that you, Scarlet?).
• Black-costume Spider-Man has enough points of articulation to be a master yogi, but apparently has bad posture nonetheless.

Western celebrities are attacking Tokyo!. (guest submission from Lost-in-Translation Andrea)

A choice selection of book cover design (no longer online: covers.fwis.com). (guest submission from Andrea)

iTunes is selling the audio of Stephen Colbert’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner (no longer online: phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=152614621&s=143441) speech for $1.99. (the free video seems to have disappeared from YouTube…)

Onanists beware the ceiling cat (no longer online: ceilingcat.com). (guest submission from Master-of-Her-Domain Andrea)

Look, it’s a giant iPod. Almost as much oomph as the MacBook Pro, but with a relatively itty-bitty screen. (guest submission from Dave)

Alarm Call: it’s time to upgrade your Björk with Surrounded.

More of the amazingly intricate DaVinci Code product placement & online marketing.

More 80’s TV trash coming to the screen with Knight Rider. Goliath gets a shout-out, but what about KARR? And how come nobody’s put together an A-Team movie? (guest submission by a shadowing flight into the dangerous world of woman who does not exist, Andrea)

I am totally loving ForteanTimes.com. I predict this will be a veritable goldmine for The Dork Report.

The BBC get’s the common man’s take [no longer online: cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/05/15/bbc.mistakenidentity.ap] on the Apple v. Apple settlement.

How can I get the job of designing a fake internet for Hollywood? (spotted on Boing Boing)

Behold! The atheist’s nightmare. Whew… for a moment there I was afraid he was going to roll a condom onto it. (guest submission by Potassium-Rich Andrea)

The Hulk’s latest foe is a 980-pound ill-demeanored Yugoslavian of similar complexion. The mental leap linking it to lesbian porn is breathtaking but (one must admit) apt. (guest submission by She-Hulk Andrea)

How many buddies do you have? Bring it!

The new Apple ads are pretty amusing, or would be if my Mac hadn’t recently died on me. Twice. More on this later.

Improv Everywhere [no longer online: improveverywhere.com.nyud.net:8090/mission_view.php?mission_id=57] invades a Manhattan Best Buy: you’re instigating our shirts! (guest submission from Dave)

Events have conspired to make today’s Dork Report the biggest ever, now with 47% more dork! A total computer failure plugged up the works, backing up dork all the way to our eyeballs.

Quotable Neil (no longer online: quotableneil.blogspot.com). Must he be so bloody clever?

Dorkbot NYC (no longer online: dorkbot.org): people doing strange things with electricity.

I knew it was coming, but I’m going to have a hard time getting used to saying Adobe Flash Player.

For those times when you really need to throw a cd hard enough to shatter it (and find a use for that big box of Legos in your parents’ basement): Lego cd thrower (spotted on Boing Boing)

Ack! Ex-Fox News pundit Tony Snow, now White House Press Secretary, went to my college! According to Time Magazine (May 8, 2006), “Snow says he was a liberal until he read Marx in college, and realized it was all indecipherable hokum.” OK, let’s parse this statement: First, if he couldn’t decipher Marx, how can he dismiss it as hokum? Second, what does comprehending (or not) Marx have to do with being a liberal? He’ll fit in nicely at the White House; celebrate ignorance!

Graphic Classics, new Penguin editions with covers by graphic artists.

The graphic designer that created (no longer online: syncmag.com/article2/0,1895,1887818,00.asp) the Apple logo did it pro bono?! Hey, at least slip the guy a Nano or something. (spotted on Kottke.org)

I like Wes Anderson’s new AmEx ad better than M. Night’s. (spotted on Kottke.org)

Ads on iTunes?! I feared the worst, but it seems it’s for ESPN podcast listeners only. Eh, they get what they deserve.

You know how I know you’re a prog-rock fan? Rumors of Asia touring. Hey, it could have been worse; it could have been GTR (no longer online: dprp.net/forgotten/gtr). (guest submission from Dave)

Cower before the Legion of Shitty Villains. (guest submission from The Evil Baroness of Doom, Andrea)

Geeks and their toys (no longer online: geekologie.com). (guest submission from Friend-to-Dorks-Everywhere Andrea)

I could have so used these on my last project (forthcoming).

Adidas’ new campaign Adicolor (no longer online: adidas.com/us/adicolor) features work by Dork Report favorites Charlie White (a bizarre photographer whom I saw speak at Semi-Permanent05 NYC; also the director of the strangely moving video for Interpol’s Evil (no longer online: colonelblimp.com/directors/charliewhite)) and Shynola (among other things, creators of Junior Senior’s Move Your Feet and Blur’s Good Song videos). Watch the films in the Podcast (iTunes link no longer online).

Pimp your e-mail like it’s 1996 with the ASCII Text Generator (guest submission from

 ______              __
/\  _  \            /\ \
\ \ \L\ \    ___    \_\ \  _ __    __     __
 \ \  __ \ /' _ `\  /'_` \/\`'__\/'__`\ /'__`\
  \ \ \/\ \/\ \/\ \/\ \L\ \ \ \//\  __//\ \L\.\_
   \ \_\ \_\ \_\ \_\ \___,_\ \_\\ \____\ \__/.\_\
    \/_/\/_/\/_/\/_/\/__,_ /\/_/ \/____/\/__/\/_/

CSS Beauty, a great web design resource I hadn’t seen before. Watch the layout rearrange itself as you resize the window. Neat!

Secretary of State, check, unlikely teen hero, check, super-hot and super-smart codebreaker, OK, fine. But who’s going to play the dog that survives as humans around him are crushed and/or incinerated by killer robots from outer space? (guest submission by Dave)

J.J. Abrams to reboot Star Trek.

Once again, the US Goverment brazenly denies science. A review by “the Institute of Medicine, a part of the National Academy of Sciences, the nation’s most prestigious scientific advisory agency”? Who needs scientists?