Category: The Dork Report

Whoda thunk, Clowns boost fertility (no longer online: sky.com/skynews/article/0,,91059-13529244,00.html). Are they sure the clown wasn’t, you know, taking advantage of the situation? (spotted on Fortean Times)

Rest assured: the government is totally on top of this whole terrorism thing, snooping on your phone calls and “Swifting” through your bank records.

Matt Damon is Kirk.

Nobody does it betta, in a cardigan sweata (no longer online: youtube.com/watch?v=RbuNDrj6LM0).

Snakes on a Plane auditions.

Not to nitpick, but I believe this is actually a triple-dip.

Lost Girls, one of Alan Moore’s famously unfinished projects, is finally about to be published. Moore grants a massive interview (no longer online: comicbookresources.com/news/newsitem.cgi?id=7411) (more of an extended monologue, actually – honestly, the man thinks and speaks in paragraphs) on the subject of pornography.

Related to the above, the owners of the Peter Pan copyright are, perhaps unsurprisingly, not pleased (no longer online: canada.com/saskatoonstarphoenix/news/lifestyle/story.html) with the portrayal of Wendy as sexually active in her adult years.

The Motley Fool gives the music industry the slide-rule beat-down.

Two 2006 bootleg perspectives on the Pink Floyd legacy: Roger Waters live in Verona (no longer online: bigozine3.com/rarities/?p=18) and Dave Gilmour live in Manchester (no longer online: bigozine3.com/rarities/?p=13).

Why Hollywood never gets any work done. (guest submission from Insider Andrea)

Spotted on the same site: a ratings schema I can get behind.

When dating AOL, breaking up is not an option.

Linking to this will score me points with my dork-loving girlfriend for weeks: Helvetica vs. Arial (no longer online: engagestudio.com/helvetica)

Movie, band, and brand fonts. (no longer online: typenow.net/themed.htm)

Snakes on a Soundtrack (guest submission from Girl on a Blog Andrea)

Vintage 2001: A Space Odyssey goodness: Kubrick at the premiere and an interview with actors Keir Dullea and Gary Lockwood. (spotted on Daring Fireball)

FontLover.com (no longer online: fontlover.com), a new blog about, well, guess. (spotted on Blue Vinyl)

Finally, the perfect plectrum to play LED Zeppelin. (guest submission from Dave, including the wonderfully horrible pun)

Superman Returns teaser and trailer rendered in green-screened Lego. (guest submission from Last Daughter of Krypton Andrea)

The new version of Opera is loaded with bells & whistles, including its own widget thing. With something similar built in to Windows and Mac OS X, or free from Yahoo (no longer online: widgets.yahoo.com), what’s the point?

New Line Cinema woos & wows the dorks at the New York Licensing Show. I liked the giant Optimus Prime.

WOW! *look*look*look*look*look*look* BORAT HOME PAGE! (no longer online: borat.tv)

Je ne veux pas ces putains de serpants sur la puriture de l’avion! (guest submission from Francophile Andrea)

Most. Pagan. Watch. Ever. (no longer online: thinkgeek.com/gadgets/watches/7d2b/) (spotted on Boing Boing)

Nature upends the fairytale (no longer online: cnn.com/2006/WORLD/americas/06/20/oatmeal.bear.ap). (guest submission from Godless Killing Machine Andrea)

Shopify is going to be huge. Set up a complete, functioning e-commerce site (that doesn’t look like ass) for free? Worth 2-3% of every order, I think.

Amazing news for sci-fi dorks and film school geeks alike: late 2007 brings, at long last, Ridley Scott’s definitive Blade Runner: The Final Cut (no longer online: comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=14724) in both theatrical and a massive DVD release including no less than four versions of the film.

Some concept art from the Tim Burton Superman movie that wasn’t (no longer online: kal-el.org). Not since Zardoz have we seen crazy psychedelic floating skulls like these.

How much is a feature film digital download worth? Or rather, how much are consumers willing to pay? An “album” of songs far, far less than cd quality goes for $9.99, so maybe $9.99-19.99 movies will work after all. (guest submission from Wisely-Keeping-Her-Netflix-Subscription Andrea)

A great site [no longer online: boardsmag.com/screeningroom] full of interesting commercials, shorts, and music videos (notable: They Might be Giants’ “Bastard Wants to Hit Me”). (spotted on Boing Boing)

Have no fear of The Dork Report continuing to live up to its name; it’s Transformers Update time!

• Taking mash-ups to a new level: Star Wars Transformers. (guest submission by Dave)
• Count down the days until the live-action crapfest comes out, on the official movie site.
• Relive the wretchedly awful original feature film (with one of Orson Welles’ final appearances) in the upcoming Transformers Special Edition dvd [no longer online: forevergeek.com//transformers_the_movie_20th_anniversary_dvd.php].
• What’s stopping a G.I.Joe movie? If they make one, a few years later they could do G.I.Joe vs. Transformers. It’d be like Alien vs. Predator; when two franchises burn out, smash them up and you get twice the crap!

Memo to future first children: showing up at concerts given by avid anti-war artists is probably not a good idea [no longer online: ateaseweb.com/news/archive/2006/06/on_the_shitlist.php].

Unsurprising it wouldn’t occur to the Pentagon to research a Peace Bomb or a Kitten Bomb [no longer online: http://indyink.com/images/designs/Felix.gif]. (spotted on Fortean Times, with reporting by Andrea)

A new interpretation on a classic product of The Mighty Marvel Metaphor Machine. “GrrrrrrrrRRRRRAGH HULK CUM!!!” [no longer online: soulmaninc.co.uk/images/Banner_Hulk_Transformation.jpg]

Heyyy! Only a few select scenes in Superman Returns will be in 3D? Rip-off! [no longer online: imax.com:80/ImaxWeb/filmDetail.do?type=comingSoon&movieID=code__.__27]

Just as Apple is rumored to be launching yet another iPod generation (no longer online: appleinsider.com/article.php?id=1818), Microsoft readies its iTunes Killer [no longer online: wired.com/news/technology/0,71178-0.html]. Hey, wasn’t that called Urge (no longer online: urge.com)? (spotted on Macintouch and AppleInsider)

Actual photos from inside a Chinese iPod factory make me feel queasy about owning one.

Despite being a big ratings hit in the UK, the Doctor Who revolving door hasn’t stopped spinning. Billie Piper will leave at the end of season two. As the show is at least as much about her (and her extended family) than it is the Doctor, this will perhaps have a bigger impact than even Christopher Eccleston’s dramatic exit from the lead role. (spotted on Outpost Gallifrey)

Heil Kitty! [no longer online: hitlercats.motime.com] (guest submission from Andrea)

The redesigned Criterion Collection site is clean and classy, although I’m not crazy about the new logo and the Flash intro is a yawner. One to look forward to: a new three disc edition of Seven Samurai.

Nonsuch Records launches a blog, featuring a recent post from Dork Report favorite Laura Veirs.

Fake is the New Real, Pt. II. Eek! (guest submission from Dave)

Wipe your tears away, indeed. Bush as Bono.

An all-star musical tribute to Neil. (guest submission from Soon-to-be-Sandman-Fan Andrea)

The answer is, of course, all of the above. Haven’t you read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay? (guest submission from Superman’s Pal Andrea)

Watch Yahoo.com evolve [no longer online: news.com.com/2300-1032_3-6072801-1.html] from a list of blue links to lots of lists of blue links. Two of The Dork Report’s favorite topics, rolled up into one: evolution and web design!

Here’re today’s Mac-obsessed gooberlinks:

• What sucks about Mac OS X? A lot, actually. I agree wholeheartedly with the proliferation of inconsistent themes (especially Mail), but not about the built-in Google search box, which I use dozens of times every day. Besides, you can remove it if you want to. (spotted on Macintouch.com)
• Who made your iPod? (spotted on Macintouch.com)
• Golly golly golly, Steve’s well-oiled perfection machine… sometimes isn’t [no longer online: video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6529834901915639077&q=genre%3Acomedy]

Marvel Comics nutjob Avi Arad goes indie [no longer online: ifmagazine.com/new.asp?article=3045] and disses the most interesting movie [no longer online: thehulk.com] Marvel ever made. (guest submission from Roving Comics Reporter Andrea)

Tune in to see who gets voted out of the litterbox in Kitty Survivor [no longer online: www.ew.com:80/ew/article/reuters/0,24012,1203382_10_0_,00.html]. (guest submission from Meow Andrea)

Hey Thirtysomething Perpetual Boys, upgrade a cherished toy for a mere ¥18,000! (guest submission from Dave)

Watch the naive Kitten of Doom [no longer online: youtube.com/watch?v=p2wyhgP0FVo] taunt fate. (spotted on Salon)

Peter Gabriel’s label Real World Records launches Real World Remixed.

In related news, Real World Multimedia’s Noodle Heaven is now free. It’s utterly brilliant and equally indescribable.

Apple’s cutting edge interface design is no match for rampaging cuteness. (guest submission from Dave)

A few million more years, and these bird brains [no longer online: news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2002/08/0808_020808_crow.html] will invent the fishing rod.

Why murderize hookers and zombies when you could be cleansing the earth of the wicked? (spotted on Fortean Times)

Fake is the new real: Photoshop before-and-afters make two women whom anybody would say are pretty seem fugly when juxtaposed with their digitally airbrushed clones: extreme makeover 1, extreme makeover 2. (with reporting by Dave)

Darwin busts a move. [update: no longer online: outube.com/watch?v=BIeIWkK0t4s]

Finally a NYC dive bar with real ambience [no longer online: nytimes.com/2006/06/04/magazine/04funny_humor.html]. Hey, I own that cd!

Every Mac user knows Mail.app “got beaten with the ugly stick,” but now The People are rising up against the Apple GUI fascists: stretch it sideways [update: no longer online: harnly.net/software/letterbox.html] and give it a shot of digital botox. (spotted on Kottke.org & IconFactory)

Microsoft succeeded with standardizing screen fonts before, including Verdana and Arial (although many people rue the latter), and now they’re at it again. (spotted on Kottke.org)