Category: The Dork Report

A question most appropriate to this blog: How geeky are you? (no longer online: msnbc.msn.com/id/11977271/site/newsweek) (guest submission from Andrea)

A pair of Doctor Who treats to kick off today’s Report:

• The BBC are being surprisingly generous in broadcasting Tardisodes free online.
• Who is Doctor Who?, Mickey’s video blog (if you can parse the accent).

Extra-strength tryptophan was clearly not enough to defeat Hagryphus giganteus’s predators. (guest submission from Andrea)

“cork and work” and… dork? Absurdities of English Spelling (guest submission from Dave)

Bjorn Tipling’s Color Tool (no longer online: color.sharewonders.com) (guest submission from Dave)

The Apple fan/apologist’s ultimate hell freezes over scenario (no longer online: apple.com/macosx/bootcamp). But maybe it’s time to share the pain.

You don’t say! Gosh, this really shakes my faith in our president. Cough, cough.

I’m a latecomer to this already-famous treasure: Overheard in New York. Incidentally, Harvey Pekar has written a graphic novel biography of its founding editor.

Wired counts seven sci-fi concept albums. Only seven? I nominate The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway (more surreal fantasy than sci-fi, perhaps?) and Tales from Topographic Oceans (too sucky?). The latter clocks in at no. 4 in the Ten Scariest Concept Albums of All Time.

Careful, Doctor, you might sprain that eyebrow.

Hot on the heels of CNN.com’s redesign comes that of NYTimes.com. The constant: catering to wiiiiiide monitors. The winner: the latter (if for no other reason than extending the redesign to the interior pages).

Tomorrow’s a good music day: Gorillaz Live at the Apollo [no longer online: mtv.com/news/articles/1525131/20060301/gorillaz.jhtml] and two new cds: The Flaming Lips’ At War With the Mystics and Massive Attack Collected. Next week: Brian Eno & David Byrne’s My Life in the Bush of Ghosts.

Taste the meat! Taste it! (guest submission by Dave)

“Dreaming of a stolen purse has been interpreted as a metaphor for a missing penis” (guest submission by Andrea)

OMG, it’s not just me! (spotted on kottke.org)

Designers rise up! And, uh… fight Spider-Man. (spotted on The IconFactory)

Chris Whitley’s posthumous album Reiter In comes out today. About 1998 or so, I designed one iteration of his official-unofficial fan site.

A breathtaking ABC memo on preferred human misery for Extreme Makeover. Didn’t they see Thank You for Smoking? (guest submission from Andrea)

Clash of the memes: Snakes on a Sudoko (guest submission from Andrea)

The Rolling Stones would never sell out, would they? (spotted on The Onion AV Club)

History according to the movies. (guest submission from Dave)

Gorillaz are screening excerpts from their forthcoming Europe-only DVD.

Toss back a pint as the Guinness Book of World Records settles another hypothetical pub dispute: World’s Largest Coconut Orchestra. (guest submission from Andrea)

Well, I don’t trust me, either (no longer online: ur.umn.edu/FMPro?-db=releases&-lay=web&-format=umnnewsreleases/releasesdetail.html&ID=2816&-Find). So there!

The bizarre story of New Line’s resolutely non-ironic Snakes on a Plane continues: Snakes on a Blog (no longer online: snakesonablog.com) and a slew of amateur marketing (no longer online: forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=1949081&thread_type=voteresults), most of which will probably be better than the real thing. My favorite: “Jonathan Frakes on a Dame”.

The original hand-scrawled liner notes to what is perhaps my most-played cd.

Quotable Mike: “This is New York, and I would suggest the coyote may have more problems than the rest of us.” (no longer online: nytimes.com/2006/03/22/nyregion/elusive-coyote-is-captured-in-central-park.html)

As if proof was needed (no longer online: superdickery.com) that comics corrupt our nation’s youth, who would surely otherwise be reading Ranger Rick (no longer online: nwf.org/kidzone/kzPage.cfm?siteId=3) and Highlights. My favorite: Holy Boner, Batman! (no longer online: superdickery.com/batmans-boner/) (spotted on Boing Boing)

Radiohead have suddenly resurfaced: a new tour (no longer online: pitchforkmedia.com/news/06-03/21.shtml) and A Scanner Darkly soundtrack. Plus, Thom Yorke won’t play ball (no longer online: edition.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Music/03/21/people.thomyorke.ap) like Bono, and is planning a solo album (no longer online: pitchforkmedia.com/news/06-03/20.shtml).

A third 2,500 year-old sarcophagus (no longer online: us.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/03/20/cyprus.coffin.ap) found in Cyprus, with illustrations from Homer. The US and Britain each already have one; who gets to cart this one home?

Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blogge (no longer online: houseoffame.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog). (guest submission by Dave)

In what can only be evidence of cosmic karma, one cat will get to experience life as a mouse. (spotted on Boing Boing)

If anyone can appreciate a killer attack of the absurd, it’s Neil. (spotted on Boing Boing)

Hearteningly, Bush has been deemed unfavorable by, get this, Fox News! (since about October of last year)

I don’t even like South Park, but Trey Parker & Matt Stone’s recent statement is a work of comic brilliance.

The New York Times notes a trend towards nattering in feature-film animation.

Shall I compare thee to a nerve-wrackingly insane-making scripting language (no longer online: heavyflash.com/poetry/Shakespeare_Sonnet18.html)? (guest submission by Dave)

Snakes on a Mutha&$%#in’ Plane! The new teaser is rockin’ blogs all over the web, so why don’t I just post it here too (no longer online: www.tagworld.com/snakesonaplane). I am SO proud to work for New Line.

It’s about time, yadda yadda. Doctor Who finally premiered in the US on March 17. Too slow, suckas! I already got my region 1 dvd from Canada! A few choice press pieces culled from the fantastic Outpost Gallifrey (no longer online: gallifreyone.com/news.php): The New York Times, The Village Voice, Time Out New York, The Hollywood Reporter, and Entertainment Weekly.

More good examples of how bad Microsoft’s imminent patent-dodge (no longer online: baekdal.com/articles/Technology/microsoft-ie-activex-update/) will suck for everyone. (spotted on Kottke.org)

Blogging 4 Books (no longer online: joshilynjackson.com/mt/archives/000468.html).

Who ever said labels were misleading?

A surprisingly good article on the digital future of movies in Time. All the right filmmakers are interviewed, with lots of interesting (and sometimes bitchy) things to say: Mann, Shyamalan, Lucas, Rodriguez, Soderberg.

A for Alan, Part Two. You can cut the irony with the Ripper’s scalpel: “By asking DC to take my name off V for Vendetta and stop giving me the money for V for Vendetta, all I’m asking for is for them to treat me in the same way they’ve been completely happy to treat hundreds of much greater comics creators than I over the decades. I’m asking them to say to me the same thing they said to Gardner Fox and Jack Kirby and to all those other guys, just say to me you are not going to see a penny for any kind of future reproductions of your work and we’re not going to put your name on them.”

Reported on the same site is this absurdity, which is too bizarre not to make The Dork Report. Unfortunately, it has a disappointingly rational (and capitalist) explanation [no longer online: comicon.com/thebeat/2006/03/chinas_toon_ban_explained.html].

Not through with Alan yet. The Gray Lady covers the V for Vendetta dispute.

Saw on Neil Gaiman’s blog that Dave McKean’s next feature film will be an adaptation of Varjak Paw for the Jim Henson Co. Also spotted this older profile on Apple.com.

It’s a foggy day in the cosmos today, so be sure to use your lo-beams. (guest submission from Andrea – smart chicks are hot!)

Part one of a massive interview with Alan Moore about his extreme decision to take his name off every comic his publishers own (spotted on Boing Boing). Moore makes reference to being cheated out of ownership of Watchmen and V for Vendetta but doesn’t clarify; I’ve read (can’t find the source at the moment) that they promised ownership would revert back to him and the artists when the books went out of print, which of course hasn’t happened for 20-some years.

Um, gosh, E.

The last thing I need: more fonts. 25 Best License-Free Quality Fonts (no longer online: alvit.de/blog/article/20-best-license-free-official-fonts) and 15 Best License-Free Pixel Fonts (no longer online: alvit.de/blog/article/25-best-license-free-pixelfonts). (spotted on Kottke.org)

And in related news, the best (by leaps and bounds) font manager for the Mac is finally finished. And FREE.

Speaking as both a designer and as one also afflicted with Apple Lust himself, this is a really clever marketing idea.

Here we go again (no longer online: appleinsider.com/article.php?id=1587). Is it a tablet, a proper video iPod, or a typically frenzied buildup of increasingly unfounded rumors and speculation (no longer online: thinksecret.com)?

Willie sez: Mama, don’t let your kids grow up to be cowboys: Cowboys are Frequently, Secretly (Fond of Each Other) (no longer online: secretcowboys.com)

Yes, Mistress! Faithful K-9 and spunky journalist/cutie-pie Sarah Jane Smith return just in time to rescue the very fabric of the universe from the deadly hand of the ultimate evil of doom!

You too can Own the Underground (no longer online: shatnerdvdclub.com) with Captain Kirk for a mere $47.99 a year!

Time Style & Design (no longer online: time.com/time/style) is comprised of approximately 95% fashion, 5% industrial design, and 0% graphic design. Even worse, it used to just be called Time Design.

Dave McKean (no longer online: dreamline.nu) interviewed for Mirrormask by FilmFocus and TimeOut.

Skip this one unless you’re a web designer/developer: An absurd patent lawsuit (no longer online: news.com.com/Microsoft+updates+IE+after+patent+spat/2100-1032_3-6044418.html) by opportunist Eolas against Microsoft will add a significant annoyance (no longer online: macromedia.com/devnet/activecontent) to one of the technical aspects of my job, but more seriously, will also sour the experience of most web users. Mozilla’s response is quite insightful.

Cheap therapy (no longer online: okcupid.com/tests/take): find out what’s wrong with you but not how to fix it. Me? I’m an Outcast Genius (60% Nerd, 56% Geek, 69% Dork), an Observer (Enneagram type FIVE – BZ), but a pathetic 47% fuckable.

Gorillaz to tour as 3D holograms (no longer online: pitchforkmedia.com/news/06-03/02.shtml)? Did I somehow miss a scientific revolution here? Since when was that possible? Hang on, never mind (no longer online: timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,13509-1856928,00.html).

Bush-of-Ghosts.com should go live any day now, with the complete multi-tracks from the David Byrne & Brian Eno collaboration My Life in the Bush of Ghosts.

Lego Lunacy aggregated. (spotted on Boing Boing)

Trailerpark: Sleepless in Seattle Redux (no longer online: youtube.com/watch?v=vI89JJ-fxbs), Brokeback to the Future (no longer online: youtube.com/watch?v=zfODSPIYwpQ), Brokeback Island (no longer online: defamer.com/hollywood/brokeback-mountain), The Shining Redux (no longer online: tatteredcoat.com/archives/2005/09/28/the-shining-redux), Fight Club as romantic comedy (no longer online: throughaglass.com/extras/fightclub2.html).

Portions of today’s Dork Report were brought to you by the letter A for Andrea.

Wow, dude from Dominos is straight-up hard-core Catholic (no longer online: news.scotsman.com/international.cfm?id=315402006), baby. Watch your tail, Chick-fil-a.

Steampunk Transformers (no longer online: idwpublishing.com/titles/transformers/hos.shtml), with art by… Ted McKeever (no longer online: luna7.com/tmckeever/tmckeever.html)?! Isn’t that sort of like hiring David Lynch (no longer online: davidlynch.com) to direct G.I. Joe?

Mickey is now a one-button mouse.

My difficult-to-pronounce boy from Philly is certainly a big-spender.

This is simultaneously fascinating and enraging (no longer online: familymediaguide.com/specials/Oscars_2006.html). I sympathize with parents who don’t have time to keep up with popular culture and need an unbiased information source to judge for themselves whether or not a movie is appropriate for their kids, but I don’t think this is it. Who are these people? Who appointed them? I’m worried they are indirectly censoring films, under the guise of informing parents. It’s about the children, you understand.

Let’s see, what did we get out of Apple’s latest extravaganza:

• iPod Hi-Fi (no longer online: apple.com/ipodhifi): No doubt a fun toy for flush audiofiles, but kinda useless for a New York City apartment-dweller like myself.
• Mac Mini: Take out the video card, add a remote control, and it costs $100 more? Although to be totally honest, I must admit I don’t really understand what a video card does. While the whole concept of a Mac media center thingie on my TV sounds really neat, the price hike completely soured it for me.
• Leather iPod Case: insanely overpriced cow-flesh sleeve with no access to the face. In other words, it’s designed specifically to scratch your iPod. I just have to join in the chorus here: What were they thinking?

Thank goodness that during the phenomenal catastrophe that was Katrina, Bush was watching a lot of television and asking a lot of good questions.

Absolute Sandman. Darn. Guess I wasted my time and money tracking down those first-edition hardcovers on eBay…

Portions of today’s blockbuster Dork Report were brought to you by Andrea & Dave.